Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
A gift from one Trekkie to another.
This art piece was born out of love for aliens, mushrooms, Star Trek, and our sister, Samaneh. Perusing through the world of social media, a curious photo came up on our feed. In the photo was a young, teenage Samaneh in her bedroom. In the background was a poster of an alien reaching out to grab some funky psychedelic mushrooms. In the post, Samaneh regretted losing the poster and wish she still had it…
An idea sparked: Let’s see if we can find the poster and gift it to Samaneh.
After countless hours of searching and searching, we were unable to find this 90s relic.
Idea 2 sparked: Let’s recreate the poster based on the photo!
Our team did just that. And that’s when we hit a creative roadblock. We asked ourselves, what’s so special about recreating the original? Sure it’s a passion of love, but how can we make it more special?
Idea numero three: Let’s make the alien a Ferengi!
This was perfect considering how much Samaneh resembles Ferengis: shrewd and loveable!
Creative Director: KM
Illustrator: Lily Le
Friend and Inspiration: Samaneh Sadaghiani
The 285 Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. 2. Last record 3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. 4-5. Lost record 6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. 7. Keep your ears open. 8. Lost record 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. 10. Greed is eternal. 11-15. Lost record 16. A deal is a deal. 17. A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Ferengi. 18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. 19-20. Lost record 21. Never place friendship above profit. 22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. 23. Nothing is more important than your health… except for your money. 24-30. Lost record 31. Never make fun of a Ferengi mother. 32. Lost record 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. 34. War is good for business. 35. Peace is good for business. 36-44. Lost record 45. Expand or die. 46. Lost record 47. Do Not trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. 48. The bigger the smile, thesharper the knife. 49-56. Lost record 57. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them. 58. Lost record 59. Free advice is seldom cheap. 60-61. Lost record 62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. 63-73. Lost record 74. Knowledge equals profit. 75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. 76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. 77-93. Lost record 94. Females and finances don’t mix. 95. Expand or die. 96-97. Lost record 98. Every man has his price. 99-101. Lost record 102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. 103. Sleep can interfere with… 104-108. Lost record 109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. 110. Lost record 111. Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them. 112. Never have sex with the boss’ sister. 113-124. Lost record 125. You can’t make a deal if you’re dead. 126-138. Lost record 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. 140-167. Lost record 168. Whisper your way to success. 169-189. Lost record 190. Hear all, trust nothing. 191-193. Lost record 194. It’s always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. 195-202. Lost record203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. 204-207. Lost record 208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. 209-210. Lost record 211. Employees are the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them. 212-213. Lost record 214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. 215-216. Lost record 217. You can’t free a fish from water. 218-222. Lost record 223. (incomplete, but presumably concerned the relationship between “keeping busy” and “being successful”). 224-228. Lost record 229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. 230-238. Lost record 239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. 240-262. Lost record 263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. 264-284. Lost record 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
???. A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.