Inspired by a recent internal meeting on how we at PD provide value, a peculiar phrase stood out: co-creating. It sparked this article by one of our advisors, Ted Leonhardt. Co-creating is more than just collaboration; it’s about building deep, trusting relationships with clients to uncover solutions neither party could have discovered alone.
This article explores the essential interpersonal skills that make co-creation possible, from active listening and asking the right questions to practicing patience and setting aside judgment. By mastering these skills, we can foster meaningful connections, enhance client trust, and ultimately create more impactful work.
Thinking About Co-Creating
Co-creating means engaging entirely with our clients and finding pathways forward that neither
of us would have found on our own.
Co-creating requires interpersonal skills that are typically not a part of the creative skill set. We
creatives are eager to share. We want to show and tell. Those are essential skill traits in the
creative environment. But building relationships requires more.
Building a state of being that makes co-creating possible requires trusting client relationships.
Gaining client trust requires listening and observing skills as well as performance skills.
Be there, and there alone.
Often called active listening.
When I say there, I mean being with the client. I mean in the moment.
You are in the room with the client. Or on a video call. When those precious moments happen,
you must listen with purpose. Listen intently.
Intense listening requires being entirely in tune with your client’s inner world while stepping
away from your own. This is a power skill. It makes it possible to connect on a deep level and
feel another’s emotions.
Put away and ignore distractions.
Phone down. Email, text, and Slack off. Avoid daydreaming.
Shut down your internal dialogue. Ignore distracting noises. Focus entirely on your conversation
partner and push everything else away.
I use note-taking to keep me in tune with the moment.
What is not said is key.
More than half of what we communicate is unspoken.
When we talk fast, it’s often a sign we’re nervous or anxious. When we talk slowly, it could
mean we’re tired or desperately trying to choose our words. Make a note of it.
Nodding, smiling, and leaning in when appropriate helps the speaker feel accepted – their
dialogue is approved and safe to continue.
Resist the urge to fold your arms.
Look me in the eye.
When we humans are trying to get our point across – when we want to be noticed – we want
the other person to look at us directly.
When you look me in the eye, I know you are fully present and listening to what I say. It also
shows that you aren’t distracted or, worse, not interested.
You don’t want to use so much eye contact that the conversation feels weird. Half and half is a
good rule of thumb. Hold eye contact for a few seconds, then look away. I use glancing at my
notes as my ‘look-away’.
Co-Questioning
Co-questioning builds a relationship by being wholly engaged with the other person.
The ‘co’ part is about encouraging the client or co-worker to engage in the process.
Avoid asking questions that can be answered with yes or no. Yes or no questions produce dead-
end answers and often stop the conversation or interrupt the flow.
It also makes it difficult to truly listen because it forces you to scramble for the next question,
interrupting your listening state of mind.
You can’t gain much insight from short, non-descriptive responses. Ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions demonstrate your interest in them and what they have to say.
These questions encourage thoughtful, expansive responses.
- Can you tell me a bit more about that?
- What did you think about it?
- What do you think is the best path moving forward?
- How do you think you could have responded differently?
- What would you say the goal is?
- Help me understand…?
- What’s the best way for me to understand the audience?
- Does an example you admire come to mind?
- Have you done something like this before? What was that like?
The key here is to be curious about the other person, their challenges, and the overall context.
Questions signal genuine interest – making the other person feel valued and enabling you to
understand them better.
Reflect back.
After the person has spoken, tell them what you heard.
“Let me see if I got this right. Your audience needs…” This ensures that you’ve heard them. It’s reassuring, and it gives them a chance to elaborate as needed. They feel validated. You could also say, “In other words, what you are saying is that you’re frustrated by…”
Summarize what you’ve heard and allow the person to say whether you’ve captured their
meaning or intent.
Try to stay away from the details and focus on the big picture.
Hold your horses.
This one is tough for me.
Your patience allows the other person to speak without interruption. It also gives them the time
to say what they are thinking without having to try to finish their sentences for them.
Avoid filling periods of silence with your own thoughts or stories. I know this is especially
important, but I have difficulty restraining myself.
I also have a hard time avoiding the process of preparing a reply while the other person is still
speaking. That’s an absolute no-no. It is something I still need to improve on.
Also, I know not to change the subject too abruptly. I know it conveys boredom and impatience.
But I struggle with it.
I have to remember I’m there to act as a sounding board rather than jump in with my ideas and
opinions about what is being said.
Don’t judge. Keep “how could they be so silly” to yourself.
Being neutral in your responses helps the other person feel comfortable with sharing. It makes
the whole transition feel safe. A neutral, non-judgmental style encourages trust. They will feel
safe from being shamed, criticized, blamed, or otherwise negatively received.
Express empathy. Be open to their background, challenges, and circumstances. They may feel
stuck with the project and forced to proceed. Help them find a way forward by suggesting
alternative courses of action. Be accepting. Note when you feel judgment rising inside yourself,
and consciously stop it.
Co-creating means engaging completely with our clients and finding pathways forward that
neither of us would have found on our own.
About Ted
Ted Leonhardt is a seasoned creative professional who transitioned from a successful career in design to advising creatives on critical issues like negotiation and compensation. After selling his design firm, The Leonhardt Group, and leading a global creative team, he realized he was on the wrong side of the table—helping investors rather than creatives. This led him to shift his focus to empowering creatives, ensuring they are valued for their work. Now based in Seattle, he balances his advisory work with writing and illustrating a near-future serial novel, embracing the creative roots that originally inspired his career.
We are blessed to have Ted as one of our advisors, helping our creative and leadership team navigate the ever-changing landscape of the creative professional services industry.
Learn more at TedLeonhardt.com
